And so at 200 miles per hour it shall run

★★ 1/2 out of ★★★★ (👍)

Bullet Train (2022)

Runtime: 127 minutes

MPAA: Rated R for strong and bloody violence, pervasive language, and brief sexuality.

With normal bullet trains running at a maximum of 200 miles per hour, one can trace its development and history back to 1964, when the first high-speed rail system began its operations in Japan. The bullet train is also known as the Shinkansen, and nine high-speed rail lines carry more than 420,000 passengers on a typical weekday. Think about how crammed these passenger trains are, and think about how it has made transportation these days so convenient for citizens to travel to their workplace and home.

As of today, the railway systems boast that, in its 50 years of operation, it has never experienced any passenger fatalities or injuries due to accidents. Compare it to the numerous fights and bloodbaths that occur in the events of "Bullet Train", the summer movie that gives audiences what they want and expect, no more, no less.

The plot: An unlucky assassin named Ladybug (Brad Pitt) takes on a job to steal a certain briefcase in a bullet train. He believes in the ideals of settling things peacefully, which is unlike the events that occur later in the film. We cut to several subplots, which include:

1. Two partners named Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry), who have to recover a briefcase and return The White Death's son (Logan Lerman, unrecognisable!) to The White Death at Kyoto Station.

2. The Father/Kimura (Andrew Koji) has tracked down the person who pushed his son off a rooftop, and that happens to be a seemingly innocent girl named Prince (Joey King). Kimura's father, The Elder (Hiroyuki Sanada), also seems to be after The White Death, for what he has done to his family.

3. Another assassin - who only shows up for about five to ten minutes - The Wolf (Benito A. Martinez Ocasio), is hell-bent on seeking revenge to whoever poisoned and killed his wife on the day of his wedding. He blames Ladybug for the heinous crime, but it turns out to be someone else, though he dies even before he knows who it is.

These subplots are all connected together, with several people mysteriously dying with blood coming out of their eyes (a villain I won't spoil!). The White Death connects all these subplots together, just when they're about to fall apart, into something reasonably complete and worth the wait.

First, let me dissect all the problems I found within "Bullet Train". Its unfocused direction causes the movie to juggle subplots simultaneously, while providing little to no information in each plot. The abundant and sensational action and killings don't raise the story as a whole, and it doesn't seem like the movie as a whole is a sum of its parts.

Secondly, the performances may be entertaining but that's what keeps the story from connecting with the audience. Take for example, the subplot between Tangerine and Lemon. While there are many scenes and dialogues that help establish the dynamic relationship between the two, the movie ignores building their character as a whole that makes us care about them. In supposedly shocking scenes where their character dies, the overall emotion evoked is just... inert.

With reference to the above, another distraction "Bullet Train" creates is its questionable editing. When we're so focused on a particular subplot, the movie jarringly cuts to another scene, then another, and focuses on more unnecessary scenes that stretches its already long runtime. In addition, some of the action gets needlessly violent, and that's a tricky problem to tackle, unless you take proper notes from Quentin Tarantino, whose emotionally resonant Kill Bill: Volume 1 and 2 uses the violence to build on the terrifying characters or on their strengths.

Whether it's these problems that affected the movie or not, I still found it to be a entertaining ride - for the most part. The way its stars like Brad Pitt play their characters, or the crackling chemistry between the actors, makes "Bullet Train" much more tolerable. Moreover, keep your eyes open for some special cameos from Channing Tatum, Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock.

Not only that, "Bullet Train" also doesn't take itself too seriously, allowing many funny moments involving the shenanigans and dialogues of the characters, and the addition of some Japanese music in the background matches the tone and mood it sometimes tries to create.

Ultimately, the climax of "Bullet Train" sufficiently wraps up the subplots, revealing the reason all the assassins came to the train, while The White Death explains each part they played that led to his wife's death, leading to decades of grief. Who cares if "Bullet Train" didn't impact you emotionally? The movie includes a bullet train, plot, action, some humor and a satisfying conclusion. I was sold.