Weren't there mobile phones on that table of the cabin?

★ out of ★★★★

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Runtime: 84 minutes

MPAA: Not Rated.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey is of equal parts shocking and repulsive.

Are you ready to get your childhood ruined? That's what writer-director Rhys Waterfield suggests, in this gory spin-off of the beloved novel series from A. A. Milne. I have fond memories of Winnie the Pooh, and his adventures with Piglet, Eeyore, Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, and Tigger. I don't dare count the number of CD's and saved videos in the drawer of the store room, innocent memories preserved through time.

With "Blood and Honey", Rhys Waterfield tries to shatter that innocence by making his characters feral, bloodthirsty killers, with not much success. Sure, the idea is so absurd and interesting, having beloved kids' characters turn into violent, sadistic murderers, but that's just about it they achieve. The most fatal mistake "Blood and Honey" makes is that the filmmakers are too invested in the idea of these characters killing people, that it fails on every other level of filmmaking.

However, the film starts off surprisingly decent. We're presented a backstory of Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) befriending the group (Winnie: Craig David Dowsett, Piglet: Chris Cordell) and playing with them for years, until it's time for him to leave for college. The group, feeling betrayed for some unexplained, illogical reason, starts eating their friend, transforming them into bloodthirsty killers. This reminds us, couldn't they have searched in the wilderness for food?

Anyways, Robin and his wife Mary (Paula Coiz) revisits the cabin, where Mary is brutally strangled and killed, while Robin is kidnapped and hanged on a hook. Despite news warning people about Hundred Acre Wood, our "protagonist" Maria (Maria Taylor) still decides to vacation at a cabin in the Hundred Acre Wood with her friends Zoe (Danielle Ronald), Alice (Amber Doig-Thorne), Jessica (Natasha Rose Mills) and Lara (Natasha Tosini). The plot just about stops here, because the rest of the film is about Pooh and Piglet exacting the murderous rampage.

This is where a huge problem arises. What exactly is the motive of Pooh and Piglet? What are the killings for? "Blood and Honey" refuses to answer the reason they're committing these heinous crimes, and expects us to submit to its concept. The result is a sickening film that resembles too much like the "Saw" series, from how characters are run over by a car, tied to the ground, or suspended across several poles.

Another issue, besides the paper-thin narrative that could be torn into shreds upon closer inspection, is that there's also no one to root for or to care about. Each character is designed as a "victim" about to be killed by the villains, and as the third act rolls around, poorly lit sequences and annoyingly shaky camerawork make the experience very fuzzy and incomprehensible.

Still, the fact that this was produced on a budget of $100,000 is quite impressive. "Blood and Honey" is sometimes nicely shot, and some effects for the gruesome sequences are executed fairly well you'll squirm and cringe from time to time. Unfortunately, the setup when Pooh and Piglet are about to execute their next victim is also horribly slow, and this sluggish flow will definitely significantly reduce the tension, but what tension is there when the characters are so one-dimensional and poorly defined? Even I can't remember their names as of typing this review.

Towards the end of the film, you'll also notice how the victims' reactions start getting repetitive, as "Blood and Honey" tries to squeeze as much carnage as possible in a relatively short 84 minutes. It also ends so uncomfortably as if it isn't sure which direction to go. Though "Blood and Honey" has been greenlit for a sequel, given its box-office success, this is probably the last time I would want to see something this hollow and devoid of any meaning.

Ultimately, we're all here just to see our childhood characters become serial killers. Critics on rottentomatoes.com are saying that this fails as a comedy. I'm confused, because was "Blood and Honey" even remotely funny? No, just sickening, but perhaps a person will laugh at the absurdity of the traps Pooh set up during a post-movie discussion. This is a film you should see if only for the reason of Pooh and Piglet going on a gruesome adventure. But YouTube clips of them solely slaughtering people in the film also exist, and are easily accessible anytime.