Maybe next time don't actually travel to another country and be set back by villains, spies, assassins etc.

★ 1/2 out of ★★★★

Ghosted (2023)

Runtime: 116 minutes

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of strong violence/action, brief strong language and some sexual content.

"Ghosted" has a decent first act, setting up the plot, giving us over-the-top, hilarious action, and several nice but repetitive cameos. Had it consistently maintained its mediocre quality, "Ghosted" would have been so much more tolerable.

Unfortunately, this is not the case. It's simultaneously overstuffed and undernourished, throwing in too many threats, characters, themes and stakes, yet never attempting to clearly convey its meaning. The action sequences are clunky, quite badly edited, and generic (mind you, I had a tough time figuring out what was happening at least half of the time), but that it starts off pretty solid and tells us that relationships are not so easy perhaps makes it not entirely terrible?

This is essentially a 'Red Notice 2023 version', mixing in huge stars, luxurious locations, some but limited world-building, and formulaic plot points. Still, by adhering to this formula, it can be said to theoretically work, but the result is also something we've seen too often. You can basically guess what's going to happen and how you absolutely don't need to worry whether the protagonists will survive the tough, complex situation.

Though we're all too familiar with the standard rom-com sequences, starting "Ghosted" in a peaceful, sedate manner is actually a good choice. Cole Turner (Chris Evans) is a romantically desperate vendor in a Washington farmers' market. He meets Sadie Rhodes (Ana de Armas), whom the adjacent vendor encourages Cole to talk to. They go out on a date, and unsurprisingly do whatever the usual couples do, but later texts from Cole to Sadie are unanswered.

The brash, direct sister Mattie Turner (Lizze Broadway) suspects that Sadie has 'ghosted' Cole, and his parents (unnamed, Dad - Tate Donovan, Mom - Amy Sedaris) convince Cole to travel to London, with saved up tickets from a previous school trip. Cole intends to surprise Sadie in London, but is abducted by arms dealers and sent to Pakistan, as they believe he is the the legendary CIA operative called "The Taxman", who apparently has the passcode to the "Aztec", a powerful weapon of mass destruction.

Why did they mistake Cole as "The Taxman"? No idea, we're told to go with the flow. After Cole gets saved by Sadie in time, they escape through Khyber Pass, and "Ghosted" reaches its highest point, being self-aware of the ridiculousness of its action sequences, and capitalising on it generates a few good laughs. A villain, Leveque (Adrien Brody), shows up and also hunts "The Taxman", requiring the passcodes to unlock the case containing the "Aztec", or he'll be killed.

Instead of maintaining the aspects of "Ghosted" that do work on the most minimal amount, subsequent events are riddled with too many contrivances and conveniences. Each tough situation is miraculously solved in time by the good forces, and why all of this is happening is not explained to us at all too. The idea of Cole being unwillingly dragged into the world of spies is essentially a gender-swap version of 2010's "Knight and Day", but almost every detail, from the "Aztec", to Leveque's situation, to villains and their punishments upon failure to complete said task, are ultimately not novel.

Take, for example, the "John Wick" franchise. It works because of its sheer, extensive world-building, without actually explaining to us the backstories of each assassin involved, making the world fascinating. "Ghosted" just throws in random new characters from time to time, without focusing on their motives and struggles, and makes everything rather minor.

Still, the only thing that works better than everything else is the numerous conflicts between Cole and Sadie during the mission. It feels the most natural, and accusations that Evans and Armas don't have any chemistry are also hardly noticeable. Their abundant arguments and opposing beliefs are often relatable, and I wished that the writers focused on this more. It's an enjoyable and welcome, temporary diversion from the other hastily written aspects.

As an action movie, "Ghosted" is not much of a success. Many scenes retreat to the rapid-fire editing, and jerk from one place to another too frequently, it often feels disorienting. There's also nothing entirely new to the set-up during brutal exchanges of ammunition and knives, but there are some cleverly conceptualised fights involving a rotary and a spinning tower.

The performances are forgettable, and so is this movie. With four writers, you would have imagined that at least one of them would have come up with an interesting idea, or trim out the shallow world-building and focus more on the conflicts between Cole and Sadie, arguably the best part of "Ghosted". If this becomes a franchise, and it probably will due to the expectedly high viewership, perhaps don't watch the subsequent installments or pray that the writing is sharper and the action scenes are at least more fluid.